It started out with one tiny thing on my list to-do sometime late March. You know, the part of the season when I was needing to take on the transition of the spring, as winter made it’s exit. I didn’t forsee a week or day in particular, like most home projects. It would be a feeling, a feeling I’ve grown familiar with.
I kept the tiny thing and added hope for another bigger thing. Finally, a room change. Something more warm, darker, with deeper woods. And while that remains on my list as some larger thing, the little things physically added themsevles. I didn’t write them down. I just did it. And then I realized, I was so very deep in the deep cleaning and organizing thing that happens much closer to spring.
I couldn’t stop myself. Believe me, I tried! Once I surrendered to my body’s commitment of here and now, I realized that every closet in my apartment was being cleaned out. They were vaccumed from floor to celing, re-organized, and wiped down to rid of dust. I met myself too. It wasn’t a clean with ease, though I liked it. It was a oh-my-god-look-at-all-this-dust clean. A thought that if ran on the elliptical of my mind too long, would make me think awful things about myself. But in meeting myself, in checking in with that thought, I was grounded in a different way. Which doesn’t mean that I wasn’t short and frustrated when my clean extended itself to the early morning of day 3.
It was what it was.
And it is no longer.
Spring cleaning is like that. It’s enjoyable and frustrating in the same. And when it’s done, you’re patting yourself on the back with a big hoorah, and also like, “see you in 9 months!”
Will you deep clean? And if so, when? Is it a feeling for you? Or something more regimented?