The other day, I did something that really disappointed one of my kids. I’ve tried a few times to re-write that as to not blame myself for circumstances that I don’t have complete control over. But in reality, doing several things at once is very me, so that I don’t end up on this particular road.
As an adult, I have to constantly deal with being dissapointed, and yet, when dealing with my kids, this is my weak spot. In truth, it isn’t like my kids expect a whole lot. Except, when it comes to activities—and doing them all. Which is a monster of my own making, to be honest. It’s something I’ve done since they were little. We’ve always stayed out and about, and took up every invitation and filled our days and evenings with activites. Admitedly, this is what I most love about motherhood. Besides loving them so much, it is the fun I have had with them (even when it’s been a struggle). But as you know, this sort of pace (and all the things) isn’t always manageble.
I’ve circumvented dissapointment by simply not sharing anything that I am ever feeling gray on. And if I do decide to do that previously gray event, it is more of a surprise and there’s a welcomed feeling of excitement, rather than the painful bits of childhood disappointment when an expectation isn’t met.
And while I know that being disappointed is just a part of life, for me, this is particularly difficult. It has everything to do with the childhood version of myself, meeting this adult version of myself. In one moment, like this past weekend, I am asked to manage both worlds. All the therapy in the world is great, until you find it staring at you in the face. The staring, a disappointment that isn’t limited to a facial expression. It was crying and more pouting than I could personally swallow. There was explaining and hugging, but that did little.
Many of my parent-friends deal with this with a confident ease. Something I hope to take along with me this year, so the days like those are much less heavy on me.
I know I don’t know it all, so reaching out to you, how do you deal with disapointment and your children? Or, how did your parents deal with when you were a kid?