I eat the same two meals most days of the week. I keep my polish within a set of three or four choices, no matter how much I try and inch out. And on holidays, I like them to be uneventful and eventful. I love knowing what’s happening next. I guess my desires are much like a child, and when it comes to the holidays, this is true. My overall dream for my children, self, and friends and family is to have a set of traditions that let them into our home to unwind and dance the night away, at least once a year.
Last night, we had our annual holiday party. The days leading up to it I stayed on the edge of canceling. One thing and then another, left me feeling like this year it was just too much. And when I settled down from whatever was happening, I kept coming back to how it makes me feel to host people (no matter the prep) and how I want my kids to be the kind of kids who had that “one thing” their family did.
All week long, I couldn’t stop thinking about how all of us needed this. Not just the space to move our bodies, gather, eat, and give our holiday wishes–this party has become a moment to find some grounding in the months prior and ones ahead. I’ve learned that without these transitions, the season and the year feels transitionless for me.
There was wine, a potluck dinner full of a mish-mash Trader Joe’s collection, and a to-die for banana pudding. There was a Christmas playlist and a 90s R&B playlist, that had us all in our feelings. The kids ran without much care and danced late into the evening too. I sang, talked, yelled, hugged and danced until the last person left.
The party was a true dream. And with it, there was a lesson (as there often is). Last night’s lesson was that, no matter how you feel prior, it always feels good to gather those you love.