We’ve talked about IUD’s, HSDD (Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, defined as ongoing low sexual desire that women find frustrating) and now, I just want to talk about how it feels to talk about sex with friends. Have you brought this conversation home yet? How are you feeling about it?
I do believe there is room to be bordered even while discussing the most intimate details (if feeling and acknowledging the border makes you more comfortable). At times recognizing it helps me.
When talking with and thinking about what it means to unblush, and how in general this was an opportunity for me to dive into the nuances of sexuality and sex with a big bang–I was mostly excited. Anxious, of course. But excited that maybe others would benefit from the conversation just as I already had. I knew learning about one facet of unblush, would bring me face-to-face with a topic I felt sometimes uncomfortable with discussing here. It often takes a little push.
I realized when trying to bring up tricky parts of sexuality and sex with friends, there are three things that make it so much easier:
1. Bring up an article. Have you read something lately? My best conversations often start with, “I read in The New York Times…” Somehow, sharing opinion pieces on the topic makes everyone a bit more comfortable with discussing.
2. Oddly enough, do it around your kids. This seems weird, but trust me it works. Invite a friend with a kid over for dinner. Chances are, by 6 pm, they’re needing to unwind and talk a bit too. Conversations often flow easy at the end of a stretch of day when kids are involved and you both are looking for that non-judgemental pause and camaraderie.
3. Send an email or text with, “QUESTION… have you ever…?” Okay, it’s true, screens makes everyone feel a bit more brave. Me included. Sometimes I have questions about something that I encountered or experienced… like orgasms and odd cycles.
And just for fun, here are a few things I want to talk about with you this year, but have yet to…
Like, why are women still faking orgasms in 2019?
Why is self-pleasure still taboo?
The luteal phase, as explained beautifully by my friend Erica.
What does dating and sex actually look like with kids?
What other forms of intimacy do you prefer?
Are you talking about sex with your friends? What do you want to unblush about? And anything you want to read about here, while we’re at it?
This post is sponsored by unblush, a community created by AMAG Pharmaceuticals. I use pharmaceuticals when in need, and have always supported others who need and use them. With that said, all thoughts and opinions by me are honest and unwavered, and are in support of women who are interested in lifting the veil from sexual health. As always, thank you for supporting our sponsors who help sustain this small business.