On Liberating Motherhood

The weather said non-stop rain on Mother’s Day, and I remained the indecisive one leading up. With no real choice in sight, I opted for all of the above. A bit of joy. A bit of madness. Lots of dancing. There was chaos. Some not-so good moments, and some over-the-top laugh-out-loud, moments.

On Saturday morning I made pancakes, played a favorite record, had too much coffee and read six hilarious cards. That day, I ran some errands, we ate ice cream and walked around Brooklyn Botanic Gardens.

On Sunday the rain began. It hasn’t stopped. I napped. I shot some photos. I saw a movie alone. I ate spicy spaghetti with rosé and there was so much more in-between. And doing it all, and accepting and sitting in it all was a bit liberating, too.

Here are a few photos and some words that saw me through the day…

“There was something so valuable about what happened when one became a mother. For me it was the most liberating thing that ever happened to me. Liberating because the demands that children make are not the demands of a normal ‘other.’ The children’s demands on me were things that nobody ever asked me to do. To be a good manager. To have a sense of humor. To deliver something that somebody could use. And they were not interested in all the things that other people were interested in, like what I was wearing or if I were sensual. Somehow all of the baggage that I had accumulated as a person about what was valuable just fell away. I could not only be me—whatever that was—but somebody actually needed me to be that. If you listen to [your children], somehow you are able to free yourself from baggage and vanity and all sorts of things, and deliver a better self, one that you like. The person that was in me that I liked best was the one my children seemed to want.” Toni Morrison from Toni Morrison and Motherhood: A Politics of The Heart

Mother’s Day can also be such a difficult holiday for many. Thinking of all who may be suffering this week. Sending you love wherever you may be.

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