I spent a good part of last night sending Airbnb links to my friend, trying to plan where we’ll stay for a quiet weekend to wrap up the summer. “Wrap up the summer?” Yes, wrap up the summer. See, for the longest time, I’ve spent my summer days tapping in and tapping out, flowing about. There have been little plans and endless days. All in all, it has been glorious. But the kids are older now, things are busier now. They want more now. And I have the immense privilege of being able to provide more. Even if, only slightly. Like, for the first time ever, I am sending River off to camp. Not sleep-away camp. But a place outdoors, outside the realm of my touch, where we aren’t always riding ferries, building forts, and watching too many episodes of Barbie before 8 AM. Somewhere, if only for three days a week, she’ll get dirty and experience summer in the city, minus the umbrella that is her mother.
This is huge. Not just emotionally, but financially. To emotionally take a financial leap, which in and of itself means that on these days during this summer I will probably still work. I will not lean on summer as a space in and for the ticking tock of jobs. This is to be eerily confident. A confidence that is strange and powerful and scary as hell.
I digress, lets just stick to my personal bucket list. Here are 10 things I want to do this summer:
1. Create more of an oasis in our backyard with plants and a hammock.
2. Watch at least three movies in the park.
3. Have a picnic a few times a month.
4. Drink wine with girlfriends in the backyard and scream about men, money, and work.
5. Turn off my phone for a weekend.
6. Vintage shop in Hudson, New York.
7. Actually put my face in the ocean. (This is a huge one for me!)
8. Travel alone without immense anxiety about leaving the kids behind.
9. Dance in the street.
10. Run through a fire-hydrant
(Photograph by Harold Feinsten)