When I started this blog, River was tiny and her moments felt like so many of my moments. While I didn’t confine myself into that one role, this space became one to document it. I didn’t seek out a monetary gain, and the term Mommy Blogger made my knees shake. From the start, I tried to infuse my life’s passion and career as a stylist, while also sharpening any writing abilities I had. Of course, it took learning what I didn’t know, and a lot of growing…
…. SO much growing over the past five years. I’ve made many mistakes, but I think what I cling to is the reality that I barely thought about any of it. I just did what I did. And everything that comes out of this space is an extension of my natural self. There is no tallying of numbers, likes, no Instagram comment pyramid, and definitely no staging of my children.
As someone who is passionate about mental health, I truly worry about the underlying crisis that is developing within staging, overthinking, using each other for image opportunities, false claims of hardships or glorification of a position (motherhood) that is down right exhaustive. I worry about the script everyone is creating. And I wonder, just as a natural worrier, what wounds does this behavior leave on children? On those that are truly in it, rather than being of it–as a person of the times when it was a thing. What emotional bruises of mom’s lack, or self worth in imagery, rather than in reality, may this leave on little guys and ladies?
The blog’s mission has always been one in which it had to be a space for me to share my version of honest motherhood, without divulging the hardships of my children (that don’t belong to me). It hasn’t been tricky because through and through, it is the way I view motherhood. They’re people. I’m a person. And so, what I share and what I don’t represents that. In a sense, honoring that is true freedom in this delicate and gigantic space.
So on this Wednesday night, when I’ve spent the last two work days staring at my babies, apologizing for what I’ve done, and what I didn’t, and what I will and won’t do one day in the future, I want to know:
Where Do You Stand On This Topic? Without judging mothers (we are all struggling enough), and as someone who does share her children in her own unique sense, what worries you about the glorification of motherhood for a sense of self-worth and/or social media notoriety?
And not as a space in which we may feel a sense of camaraderie but as a space in which our awareness and worth is confined in squares and notifications?
(Photo by Heather Moore for Dóen)