There are papers to sort and dishes to wrap. The kids’ room is almost empty and my mind has mentally checked out of this home. Occasionally, I’ll dust a corner and think of the tiny steps Oak very- stubbornly took. In the other corner; a dent formed from River bumping the wall far too often. I think about the laughs and the late night dance parties in the living room. These memories erect tears from my eyes and a tug like no other on my heart. I am overcome.
And then, as I walk down our street, I can literally feel the energy shift. I can feel unclaimed baggage finding their rightful owner, leaving me, leaving my family, and we enter into a new era. One of a clean slate. I’m eager to leave the difficult bits behind; the time I laid on the couch, in grief over our baby now in heaven, and the nights newborn hood seemed so taxing on our marriage. Though the door now closes on those moments, I’ll never forget them. They’ve made me the person who now writes this; stronger, wiser, and softer. They’ve made me aware of life’s fragility, and given me unmatched joy too. And yet, it’s time for me to let them go and close the door. I’m ready.