In some respect, it’s worth noting here, if anywhere, that my hair is nothing more than what it is. It is no ruling definition, no blanket of my person. My hair has changed it’s course; growing, breaking, and growing again. It has changed colors and textures along the way too. Lately, I’ve been dreaming about cutting it all off and entering this new sense of freedom. A freedom that I once tasted years ago, except, with a slightly different palette. A freedom that would be unique to this LaTonya that stands before.
There’s this significant part of me that knows this itch to cut it all off is me seeking something more relevant than myself. In the search, I know that cutting all of it off would be a contradiction of everything I believe. I can seek and find that fulfilling change just by living and changing the course. Hair, while unruly at times, doesn’t stop a person from becoming a person. So, I twist it back in the interim. I note the way it feels when the sun kisses my cheeks and when the wind brushes my lips. I note the way the air feels when it fills my lungs. And then I push forward on that search.
P.S My dress.
After having kids and finding great value in providing them with the stable life I never had growing up, I pursue my rebellion through my hair. I am currently the only kindergarten & preschool mom with the ability to put her hair in a mohawk.
We as humans put so much social and psychic energy into our hair and so I think I find it liberating to chop it all off and free myself of the burden.
Your hair is beautiful and will be no matter what you decide to do with it.
As I tell people who ask me why I can cut my hair one day months later have it out natural and months later blow dry it straight. Hair is superficial and at times it blinds us into this level of perfection we must obtain. Ah freedom. To cut it or to not stress so much about not getting the perfect Bantu knot. You are lovely. Stay lovely and stylish. Plus I love the whole outfit. Earring and all.
Love this, have been feeling exactly the same way, and did decide to cut to liberate myself, hair is exactly just that, hair, we miss it when we want to fill void places in our life through our hair and the way we look
I have to say I agree with these other readers too. Currently my hair is natural, but I've been natural long before it was a 'thing', and I'm feeling the shift of change like you are, even considering relaxing it, which I don't believe I'll actually do. And yet sometimes you understand that hair is just that stuff that grows on top of our head, and doesn't necessarily capture the breadth of what's underneath it.
Thank you for sharing
Love this post. I was feeling similar last year. Sadly I did cut my 3 year natural grown hair. I realize now that it wasn't that I wanted my hair shorter, but that something was stirring inside of me that needed to be dealt with. Anyways, thanks for sharing!