In November, Peter and I both felt like we were hardly seeing each other. He was on set for hours on end, and I was running around with the kids and working most days of the week. As we entered 2016, we made a few promises to each other and to ourselves, goals based on overall well-being. No more work-related resolutions; instead, simple, personal joy.
One of the many things we decided to do was to commit ourselves to one date a week. Sounds like such a big undertaking, right? Especially with kids. But we decided to redefine “date”; that way, dating as a married couple every week is easily done.
When we were boyfriend and girlfriend, Peter and I rarely had nights on the town, nights where we had dinner and boat rides and he picked me up in his car. Back then, our dates consisted of bike rides around Brooklyn. We took a lot of photos, blew bubbles, ran around in parks, watched movies on the concrete, had too much pizza and ice cream. We had fun. It was simple. Somehow now, as a married couple with kids, the notion of dating seems like some grand affair.
What we’ve committed to this year is that it doesn’t have to be. So far, our dates have been:
– Dessert on the couch staring at each other and sharing our feelings
– A movie with friends
– A dinner with friends
– Walking around after having coffee on a particularly warm afternoon
– Going to the book store and purchasing books together and eating soup
– And my personal favorite so far ( a surprise date on New Year’s Eve), swapping books over dessert and then heading into a late movie
All of these have been easy, not time consuming, and, surprisingly, incredibly romantic. Most importantly, all of them have forced us to sketch out more time for each other, doing things without pressure.
We have no plans to stop dating every week. For now, I think not having an end date just makes everything a little more special.
Would you try a date a week? I feel like this would be a great experience gift to give to the one you love.
Agreed! After 15 year of marriage, 2 kids and stressful jobs…dating was non-existent for my husband and I. Since the kids are now teenagers, we are starting to get our dates back. Simple yet very rewarding stuff…love the trips to the bookstore, or the breakfast at the Waffle House kind of dates, when is just the two of us. Keep it going…communication is the key to any long-lasting relationships.
Thank you so much! I truly believe you are right. It's so hard to remember to communicate when there is just so much "life" happening. Congratulations on 15 years!
Love this! My husband and I have been married almost 14 years now, and we've had to redefine what a "date" looks like for us now too. I feel like I appreciate the simple dates so much more than I did before we had kids. I enjoy the simplicity of them so much more than the "big to do" dates we rarely have.
My fiance and I have agreed to do dates each week as well! We have it down packed as far as going out a a family with our two boys but most of our time is focused on the boys. Short walks, driving to nowhere and talking etc. are the simple things we plan on starting out with. We keep reminding ourselves that when the boys are out of the house we don't want to feel like we are living with a stranger. Its good for the kids too! When they see mom and Dad are happy and FULL, they are even happier kiddos!
Awesome ! So romantic and simple ! I agree with you, since we're married everything seems so difficult to set up… Thank you for this !
PS. Also came across this sweet video of you two just in time for Valentine's day! http://video.brides.com/watch/married-couples-love-stories-valentines-day
This is really inspiring! I love your ideas and a little while ago had a similar one about starting a two person book club — just me and my husband! We also read aloud to each other in bed sometimes.
We are starting to do that because between my school and work life and his school and work life we do not even see each other and we don't live with each other so that's a plus and a negative. We try for the weekends since we are both off. It's great that you both have committed time to be with one another and sticking to it shows how committed it is