Just like that, it’s August. The summer seemed to slowly creep on in, shaking us up with insistent chilly days of jacket wearing and pouring rains. And just like every summer in New York City, we were hit with the heat and looming adventure. Afternoons of exploration souped into nights of movies in the park and ice cream before a proper supper. The kids turn up their cranky on a crowded subway, and we tread on in an happy parental oblivion. Such is summer in the city.
In true fashion, August’s arrival means something entirely different. Already, as we try our hardest to be present and in the moment, we are constantly made aware of time’s ticking hand. New adventures of a different nature await. A path that’s fresh, and yes, scary. A path that in no way I could have imagined we’d be upon so very soon. Her birth feels so close to my heart. Her days as a squishy and wide-eyed newborn, in my young hands, feels like yesterday.
Our days of summer our winding down. School lists are being made, lunch boxes are being purchased, a letter from her new teacher should arrive to us at any moment. My stomach is in knots, as I try to find a glimpse of baby River before she turns into grade-school River. She’s eager to be with her friends and new friends. I’m anxiously trying to find my path as her mother.
To be frank, pre-k was a choice, a good choice. She’s been in pre-school for over two years, and I have seen leaps of growth throughout each year. She’s confident in who she is and what she knows. She’s aware of the feelings of others and the space that she takes in this world. It’s beautiful to watch her.
I find myself with this insane need to slow down in September. Prior to summer’s arrival, the consensus was that I would go back to work full-time in September. Doors opened, opportunities arose, and working full-time in various avenues came about sooner than expected. As I have found my groove in the world of full-time work and motherhood, my fast paced steps want to halt a bit. There are new positions in life that I want to give a go, an active member of her amazing PTA, and a one-on-one mama to Oak, to name a few.
As sad as I am about the impending transitions, my heart soars a bit knowing that there are new and happy paths for us all. I’m eager to pop in her school to help when necessary, to make food for her class parties, to bake for the fundraiser. I’m eager to bond with Oak in a whole new sense. The first year with him was a haze, as it is for most mothers. It was a time for healing and rebuilding. He has shaped into the sweetest and funniest baby boy I’ve ever met, and my heart and mind are telling me to take things slow and savor this time with him. River had me for years on her own. Now, it’s Oak’s time. I want to explore the city with him, and create new memories that belong to just him and I.
I’ve always been an advocate for having a huge sense of individuality and self amongst mothering. Equally, I believe in keeping that sense, while answering the knock of slow motherhood. I am thankful for a career that allows me to stop and go, and simply just slow down a notch, as I please. One that allows me to nurture whatever feelings that may arise from time to time.
Here’s to new adventures, a career, children, transitions, and a beautiful life!