I’ve been thinking a lot about sunsets, and what they actually mean. And truthfully, the power behind each one.
On this particular sunset, we all made it though the day; good in health, with each other, in-love, isn’t that special? Yes, especially when you actually sit down and think about how often a sunset can be something sad for someone in the world. Someone, in someway, may have went through something particularly extraordinary-possibly, in the worst way. And even though my heart hurts just thinking of those people, I am so very grateful to simply have it not be my family enduring on that particular day. It makes you look at everyday a bit different, no?
On Friday night of last week, we drove the kids over to Red Hook to watch as the sunset on our sweet Brooklyn. The park was quiet, and everyone was truly enamored by the beauty we witnessed. It’s weird how things go, that week more than others, was one in which we talked a lot about mourning. A family member had passed away, and I think spending time together down south for a bit, during his services really brought us together. The occasion was celebratory with my family, and that was good.
This winter, I felt as if I was truly mourning various things. It felt endless in many ways, but also, kind of good. There were emotions from baby loss, that reared up once again. And cold weather didn’t help much.The thing I realized is this; when you mourn one thing, you mourn many things. And mourning never really ends, and that’s okay. Mourning can also stifle you, or propel you, and in many ways, that’s what it did for me. Emotions and heartbreak come about in many forms, and loss never really goes away. Joanna, talked about this last week as well, and it felt remarkable that everyone seemed to be on the same wave length or something. You never want to know someone has lost anyone, but oddly enough, it feels good to know that you aren’t the only one going through. If they’re okay, then I’m okay. We’ll all be okay.
Not to sound too morbid, but the sun will set. And even though the mere thought of it is scary, knowing that I have today to be a great mother, friend, wife, and person, I don’t know, it’s rather beautiful too. I want to be the best me, and I want to fill my world with things that only bring joy and truth in my life, this space for one. And when you truly think on it, on how much of a gift a day is, ain’t that grand? I think so.
If you’re mourning, let it come out, don’t bottle it up. It will be okay.
I also found this piece I wrote on happiness, and it really made me feel good about feeling sad. Without the sadness, how would we celebrate the good?
Have a great weekend, spend it with the ones you love!
((hugs)) I'm a new reader and I hadn't known you lost a baby. My first baby was stillborn at the end of the second trimester and I think the grief that comes unexpectedly can be worse than than the days you are prepared to be sad. I've been having one of those weeks as well and while I hate to think of others going through the same things, you're right, it's nice not to feel alone. We will all be okay.
Your paragraph about finding beauty in the sunset really spoke to me. After losing my daughter I tried to be much more intentional about living my life, even the routine, mundane parts, with love and gratitude. I have so much love I want to give her, and instead I'm trying to pour it into everything else. Thanks for the reminder of what a gift a day is. <3
Such a lovely post. Loved this line: "I want to be the best me, and I want to fill my world with things that only bring joy and truth in my life, this space for one." Rings so true to me.
You're welcome, thank you for commenting. Always good to know that someone has gotten something out of it. Sorry for the loss of your baby as well.
Thank you Charly!
I'm so sorry LaTonya, I had no idea about the baby. I am a fairly new reader so haven't gone back that far into your blog archive.
That photo of Peter and the kids is absolutely stunning, LaTonya. Thank you as always for your words and honesty <3