River: “Spwinkle dust for everyone!”
Bump: As you grow, I feel myself trying harder to foster a connection with you while you are in my womb. The time we have left on this pregnancy journey is short and I feel a deep connection is lacking. It’s embarrassing, but it’s true. I’ve been so caught up with your high- risk appointments and fear to love you as I did your sister and the baby before you, that I have guarded myself. Now is the time to love you insanely. Now is the time.
Such a beautiful silhouette of you! And don't be embarrassed about your feelings. I think it is totally natural. Wait til that little boy is born- you're going to fall in love so fast!
I just want to say that I love your blog! Your writing is so heartfelt and honest and I appreciate you sharing your experiences with us. I also want to say that I know how you're feeling right now. My daughter, Elise, is turning five this year, and my youngest girl, Alina, will be three in August. I lost a pregnancy in between at around 14 weeks, and I found it so painfully difficult to connect during my third pregnancy with little Alina, even up until the very end. I felt so much guilt for being guided by fear/worry and not allowing myself to be overwhelmed with love and excitement as I did with my first. All I can say is that once she arrived every worry and fear was gone, because she was healthy and really the sweetest and most gentle little girl. I can't imagine our lives without her, she was the perfect addition to our family, and though we had to get there through the very difficult circumstance of losing her older brother, I knew she was meant to be with us. It's ok if you struggle to maintain that deep connection during pregnancy, it will all change once you hold that new little soul in your arms. I wish you and your family all the best on this new journey.
Thank you so much Lauren!
This means so much to me! Sorry for your loss, but thank you so much for sharing.
hugs,
LaTonya