It’s weird and humbling to be here. A few weeks shy of 24 weeks- aka viability. Such a crude word, but so meaningful to a mama who has lost a child. From the day you find out you’re pregnant, until you get to 24 weeks, you hold on tight, you hope, and jump between being excited and being totally terrified. Loss is real, and the 24th week seems so far away in the beginning.
Truth is, this pregnancy is totally different than my last. It feels different, tangible. There are many what ifs, and negative stories that sometimes slip into my happy place, but day by day I am learning to let the happy win, always. I am learning to dream, and dream big. I believe putting this bean into existence, making a real plan, and beginning the decorating process will be good for all of us. Dreaming, it’s my happy place.
A few weekends ago Peter and I carved out a tiny corner in our room for the baby. It was more than just re-decorating, it meant we were half way there. Since River and the baby will be 3 1/2 years apart by the time the baby arrives, Peter and I think it’s best to keep the baby in our room for a year. The age gap seems quite large, and River deserves her personal space for as long as time allows.
To keep in theme with our bedroom, we’re keeping the baby’s corner light, airy, and neutral. Despite our house being an eclectic mix of colors; our room is bare, clean, and crisp. It’s the space we feel the most calm, and it’s the space where we hope it’s calmness will soothe a baby to sleep many nights in the near future.
Here here for dreaming, happy times, and a kiddo filled home ahead.