A Guest Post// Ashley of The Stork & The Beanstalk {Tidbits of Motherhood}

//Today I am so honored to have a sweet guest post from Ashley of The Stork & The Beanstalk! She is one of the nicest and realist mamas I’ve come to know and like via this blog world and I think you all will enjoy this post about motherhood. 
Also, Ashley is currently in the hospital recovering from back surgery, so if you have a few extra good thoughts to send her way I am sure she would appreciate it! Thank you Ashley!//
Hey guys, I’m Ashley and I write over on The Stork & The Beanstalk. I invited LaTonya over on my blog today to share some of her stellar fashion and am pleased as pie to be here today, instead. I am a blogger, photographer, part-time registered nurse, full-time juggler. I live in Southern California with my husband, Willy, and our two boys; Hooper (almost 3) and Van (1). I have been to Cuba and India, but never to New York. Hey Latonya, lets plan a NY play date?! Here are some tidbits of motherhood I’d like to share…
I’ve peed my pants once or twice. Not from excitement, but rather from delivering two nine pound babies vaginally. I think my days of jumping on trampolines are over. I tried to introduce jump roping into my life; it didn’t work out.
There are days that I forgo brushing my teeth. It’s not a choice, per say, I simply forget. Willy always greets me with a kiss anyway.
More than ever, I want to have my cake and eat it too. Some days I find myself yearning, I mean really yearning, for time to myself or time with just my husband. I miss the feeling of freedom I had in my younger days where tomorrow felt like it held endless possibilities. But at the same time, I absolutely love, and I mean really love, being their mother and wouldn’t trade motherhood for anything. It leaves me wondering what’s wrong with me… how I could want two things so badly that clearly are opposites.
Same days I consider hitting up a drug dealer for speed. I start the day so motivated to clean and organize this place but by the end of the day, after feeding everyone, playing referee, letting the dog in and out, taking a shower, getting the kids dressed, getting the kids into and out of the car, etc, I’m so exhausted. I keep saying I’ll get to the cleaning and organizing one of these days, but like CCR says, someday never comes. So yes, I’m considering taking speed. I’m kidding guys. Though maybe coffee? I’ve never been a coffee drinker…
The other day I came home from running a few errands with both boys. On the way to the front door, I passed a giant cardboard box I had been meaning to break down and put in the trash can. Some of the trash inside of it had blown onto the grass. As I fiddled for my keys with Van in my arms, I noticed the bag of dirty diapers that had yet to make its way to the trash can. I opened the door, put Van down, and noticed Hooper shitting in the corner. When he was finished, I took him to his room to change his diaper. I laid him on the changing table and in the process of wiping his ass, some shit got smeared onto his changing pad. Van started crying and it was time for Hooper’s nap, so I put him into bed and told myself I’d change his changing pad cover when he woke up. On my way to get Van, I tripped on one of Hooper’s toys. I walked past my computer where a pile of papers sat by my chair, waiting to be thrown away. I’m finally coming to realization that I cannot do it all. Now that I’ve come to this realization, I’m trying to figure out what to do about it. 
When we were parents to only Hooper, it felt lopsided. I often felt that I was doing a lot of the housework and child care and, at the time, working full time. Now that we have two kiddos, Willy’s really stepped up. Partly because he’s just cool like that and partly because there just isn’t any other option. We both work hard and share many of the responsibilities.
I’ve accepted the fact that my children will share germs. For a very short time, I tried to referee what went in Hooper’s mouth and what went in Van’s mouth. Then I gave up. We share germs like we share love in this house.
Lately, I’ve convinced myself that if I didn’t have children for just a weekend that my house would be clean, my blog would be up to date, my closet would be tidy… my life would be…. well, organized. Though I know I had piles of laundry waiting to be folded even before I had children. Nonetheless, I can’t help but fantasize about what I’d do should free time ever cross my path again. I know now what they mean when they say time is no longer yours.
I never knew how much my parents loved me or sacrificed for me until I became a mom. I can’t wait for my own children to share in this realization as well.
I’ve worn a nursing bra for two and a half years now. I started wearing it just after Hoop was born because I was nursing (dur) and kept wearing it after I stopped because three days after I stopped nursing, I was pregnant again. And being pregnant again meant bigger tits. And, because I’m cheap, I opted to sport the comfy nursing bra as opposed to buying new underwire bras my post-breastfeeding saggy tits probably wouldn’t fill anyway. So I wore the nursing bras through my second pregnancy and then I nursed for another 13 months… So that’s a total of almost 3 years of wearing nursing bras. On my post surgery to-do-because-I-want-to-list is to be properly sized and fitted by a professional. I can’t wait.
How about you? What are your latest motherhood revelations?
You can visit me over on my blog by clicking here or follow me on instagram by clicking here. Much love to LaTonya for having me today. Rock on you crazy mamas.

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